Charming, really.

Though I like people, I am in no way what most would call a “people person”. Regardless of my profession, circumstances and/or other times I may be forced to be in direct contact with the general population (or the percentage of the population) I would not normally subject myself to willingly. I do find that I am able to possess an amazing amount of will-power of keeping my mouth shut. Even during moronic, snide and what could be considered borderline phobic comments and actions . What can I say? I’m all grown up (or perhaps beginning to understand the need  to consider my reputation to seem pc). Haha.

Here’s the rub. Though I understand that every single person on this planet has their own opinions (insert the simile of a**holes and opinions here), isn’t there still supposed to be a level of respect that we grant to others? Or am I the only one who was raised that way?

I like to observe people and their reactions to others. It could be due to my social psychology roots or maybe it goes back to my borderline stalkerish nature. Regardless, I find it interesting to see people at their true nature. Where would that be? I’m so glad you asked, those places would be at retail stores and restaurants.

So, my dear freaders I am going to introduce a new line of posts that are meant to both entertain and soothe those out there in the retail world. I would love to hear your experiences as well.

***I should definitely give my disclaimer that any advice I give to those customers and/or clerks should be seen as entertainment or you may find yourself without a job or in jail. Please choose your reactions better than what I am suggesting.***

Case#1-  The Tosser.
Yes, I’m talking about the customers who, regardless of the fact the clerk has their hand extended to retrieve the money for the purchases that are being made, insists on throwing and/or tossing the change and cash towards the clerk.  Or even better, insists on looking the clerk directly in the eye and placing the money on the counter instead of their outstretched hand.

My advice for the clerk/cashier:
Continue to stand with your hand extended and palm open. If the customer  stares at you uncomprehending, gesture to the money on the belt/counter then gesture to your hand and smile (albeit, you should probably be sure the smile is not borderline a snarl… of course). Usually the first attempt of this maneuver only results in confusion, so be sure to repeat at least 3 times in order to get your point across. If this fails to work, collect the payment from the belt/counter as slowly as possible and then put the change and/or receipt in the same place as where the cash had previously been. If the customer seems perturbed do not fret, smile and remember to thank them for shopping with your store that day.

My advice for the customer:
Honestly, what is there to complain about? They gave you the change, thanked you for the business and even smiled. Can you imagine the type of person who is going to call in a complaint due to the fact they received their change in the same place they laid their money? Here’s a clue: It is extremely rude in any region of the USA to purposely ignore someone and put money on a counter. The signal that is being sent is that you feel you are superior, and considering the fact you seem to be shopping at that location proves you are, in fact, not superior to anyone.  Welcome to the real world.

That concludes the first installment of this new series, I hope you all will write me and tell me a few situations you may have witnessed or even been through yourself.

Much Love,

K

My Happily Ever After…

After August 7th, 2009 (the proposal date), the rest of 2009 became a blur of activities. In all honesty, I wasn’t a bridezilla at all. Not only because people threatened to disown me if I were to become one or threatened to beat me down a few notches until I became my docile (pfft) self again.

I only made three demands of my parents: 1. I wanted my own dress and not a refurbished one. 2. I wanted real flowers, in honor of my grandmother. 3. I wanted to hold it somewhere that had the historical beauty both G & I adore.

My Dress- I had went dress shopping only once before with my bridesmaids and came up empty-handed. I had a tight budget and not one of the dresses I saw sparked anything in me.  So, when my mother and I decided to go again, it was a complete obligation. I had lost any bit of hope of finding what I wanted. What can I say, you can put a ring on our finger but that doesn’t change the girl’s attitude towards dresses…especially yours truly. I hate dresses with a passion and I hate being fussed over, regardless of my ‘princess’ nickname. So, on this particular excursion, meaning only the second one, my mom and I drove a few cities over with the hopes of a larger selection. Literally the very first dress the sales associate handed me…I knew. I KNEW! It was like the cavewoman instinct took over and I all but licked it and screamed, “MINE”. And that was before I tried it on. But my sales lady insisted on at least trying on a few more, so I did. Nothing compared. Somehow I knew I cheated, I mean what sane bride finds their dress with only the second day of browsing? Either way, it was mine. Period. 😉

Flowers- The most important aspects of my wedding was going to be centered around my flowers and my location. I had decided immediately after the proposal to honor my grandmother’s memory in that manner. So, this was easy. I knew exactly what I wanted and my father even knew someone in the business. See, I told you guys I cheated this some how.

Location- I looked at what seemed like hundreds of locations. (North Carolina is quite beautiful everywhere during September) My initial choice, a winery, had just closed for renovations on the site. Which sucked. But my mother found this gem while searching the net. An added bonus was that it was within our budget.  Once again…easier than it probably should have been. With the exception of our date. They had EVERY DAY filled for the year, except…September 11th. For two days my fiancée and I wrestled with the decision. More than a few people were quite against it, and voiced their opinions rather loudly. But again a few people (including my mother, bridesmaids and a few of our friends) were voices of reason. They helped us weigh the pros and the cons of the date. And ultimately, reason won. We set our date for September 11, 2010. I cried for a few hours after making the decision and my mother sent in our paperwork and deposit.

The Big Day:

The whole package.

After planning on outside event. We took the precaution of having a back-up plan, in case the skies decided to not cooperate. Which they didn’t…at all. It rained, a lot. And I continued to hope, pray and stare out the window to see this:

My view from the tower.

I was almost inconsolable. My vision of my wedding was ruined, or at least that’s how I felt. But the show had to go on, and everyone (except for me…who they refused to let out of the room) jumped into action to alter the greenhouse into some semblance of a wedding hall. My mother and friends quietly comforted me, reminding me that the end result would be the same. Finally, one of the voices of reason made it through to me,”It doesn’t matter where it takes place, as long as it takes place!”

But that's supposed to be good fertility, right?

  The flurry of activity began at hyperspeed, I had wasted so much time moping it had to.  So, after scrambling to make up for lost time and getting everyone together it was time to go downstairs and get ready for my entrance. The only problem was we had NO idea the guys were leaving their area at the same exact time. My fantastic bridesmaids flew into action…the result was this picture:

Probably the best wedding picture, ever.

After the bridesmaids left to make their entrance, I found myself standing in this gigantic historical house, freaking out and trying to not ruin my make-up. Mim, having been married 3 years at this point, began to tell me stories from behind the scenes of her wedding. She did everything in her power to help me calm down and to stop the bubble of  hysteria I felt coming to head, the customary shot we had taken before exiting the bridal suite may have helped quite a bit too.

During the reception

So the rest of the wedding went without many hiccups, not to say they didn’t happen…just no one let me know about them. My friends and family are awesome at controlling when and where to give me information and apparently these situations were need to know, and I didn’t need to know in their opinions. Haha.

The only real issue I had: the preacher, who knew my husband since he was a child, continuously called him by a different name. Granted, the name was borderline the same but my point, that I reiterated by correcting him with, was it was NOT my husband’s name! And of course, after realizing what I had done (correcting the preacher is seriously a no-no), I burst into a sudden case of the giggles.  The entire length from where we said ‘I Do’ to watering our union tree (as opposed to candles…hello, it was supposed to be outside in nature),  I giggled…and not the cute giggles but the nerves-have-gotten-the-better-of-me-and-I-can’t-control-it giggles. Horrifying.

The one moment to ourselves...

In the end the voice of reason was right. Regardless of where and how it took place the goal was achieved.

 I married my best friend.

First Dance: Richard Marx- Now & Forever...cliche but fitting.

September 11, 2010 became one of my favorite days in my life, we didn’t forget what happened 9 years prior…but we didn’t want to disrespect that fateful day by letting those events damper any happiness on a calendar ever again. The spread of joy and love at our wedding during the remembrance of such a sad event is the only way I know it was the right decision, one that I continue to stand by to this day.

P.S.  I’m still living my happily ever after…a year later. Happy Anniversary, squishy.

Much Love,

K

Two Years Later

Hi.

Yes, it’s Kim…the reclusive blogger that once had a decent blog full of shenanigans that would make even a prude’s face crack with some semblance of a smile.

And…I’m sorry.

My decision of hiatus took longer than expected.

On the positive side:
During the time between being laid off, engaged, going through the craziness (that I should have documented, for shame!) of wedding planning, actually getting married, quitting my cna work (yes, I heard you gasp. I know..Kim is NOT a quitter, little choice and a blog post for later) and suddenly finding myself involved in a work environment many would envy, I found out who I was.

Being 26 years old and on the threshold of my year anniversary, I find myself utterly content and happy. This doesn’t mean random moronic issues do not take hold and the every-person-place-thing-should-die attitude doesn’t rear it’s ugly head once and a while. But my center of balance has returned, thankfully.

So, what I’m trying to convey is fairly simple. I’ve missed the blog world…and I do believe it’s time for me to come back.  Be ready, my first official re-entry blog will be posted by Friday. Picking up where I left off and remembering my wedding. 🙂

Much Love,

K

A new life…

So I promised a few friends that I would do this blog. Mostly because it was really funny when it happened…

That’s right folks…I got engaged as of Aug 7th.

My Aunt was in from New Mexico, and as a tradition we have a cookout when she is back home.  G and I were playing with the babies and keeping them entertained with my other Aunt’s horses. I guess I should have noticed everyone was acting funny, but I’m blind and apparently too trusting of my family. 😉

As I was playing with one of my cousin’s children, G kept grabbing my hands and acting like he wanted to hold them. Of course, me being a rude person I continued to shake him off. In my defense I never get to see the kids so obviously I was trying to play instead of having the whole PDA-in-front-of-my-family-social-showing-of-love thing with him. It took about 5 minutes of him trying to get my attention until I realized what was going on. My entire family had taken their places in a semi-circle around us, and he said something along the lines of “I wasn’t sure when the best time was to do this…but I figured now was as great as any” and he suddenly dropped to one knee and I began to hyperventilate. Of course there were cameras and video recording devices that I hadn’t noticed before and they all caught me when I said the fateful words “You are shitting me!!” So ladylike. Classic. Then I was shaking so hard he could barely hold my hand still enough to get the ring on my finger. Which by the way is beautiful. Here’s a better shot of it…

Of course after the initial shock wore off, the screaming and freaking out ensued. He told me he almost could hear the loud “CLICK” in my head when I had put everything together.

So no it wasn’t romantic, or traditionally over a plate of pasta with a string insturment being played in the background. But it was great and being surrounded by my family was even better than I could have asked for.

And I’m quite sure we will live happily ever after…

Much Love,
K

Where to begin…

Yeah yeah I could go into how horrible of a blogger I really am, but honestly? What would be the point, you all are WELL aware of the fact.
However, in my defense…I have a very good reason for my recent disappearance.

I was laid off.

I certainly was as shocked as you must be. The entire ordeal completely blind-sided me, and I was left flopping like a fish out of water. As luck would have it, my boyfriend happened to have moved in three or four weeks before this happened. So T and I have the additional income. Oh, Surprise by the way. 🙂

Granted the fact this all transpired nearly a month ago, it is still hard to grasp. So, I did the smart thing…and I’m going back to school. (Already enrolled and everything!) Even though I’m not exactly sure what I want to be when I grow up.

Any suggestions that will not take 15 years to complete a degree in?

Much Love,
K

Back to the Grind

Hi!! I do believe I am back from my nearly two to three month hideous. But it was as much for my benefit as it was all of yours. My head was not exactly Disneyland, if you catch my drift. (And if you don’t…I’m sorry you’re a bit slow on this lovely Friday) 

I have about 278 backlogged blogs I have to catch up on. So if you suddenly get a comment or someone reads an extremely old post of yours, don’t be surprised. 🙂

See you all soon!!

Much Love,
K

A slight update

I figured I would let you know that I am alive…and still in a quiet hell that is all my own. My heart is still slightly shattered, but my will to continue even with my head full of the appalling events of the last few months is not. I must admit that the saying “What does not kill you, makes you stronger” never meant anything to me until recently.

Now I’m beginning to embrace the challenge that was my life, and readily accept the defeat I know I am headed for.

But as the wise Carl Jung once stated:
“There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.”

Bring it.
I will not allow myself to ever get to this point again. I’m much too deserving of something better than what has been given to me. I’m finished feeling worthless and nonexistent. I’m completely and utterly done with lying down and being walked all over.

If you want to be my friend or be with me, then do it. I am not a convenience-only type of person. Through the rough times and the good times, that’s how it is supposed to be. And if those around me can not handle that, then I’d rather you not be in my life. It will hurt and I will scar, but all will be healed in due time. More importantly I will have a new lesson under my belt when everything is said and done.

I refuse to hang my head any longer for wrongs I have not done.
Welcome to the new Kim.

K

Short and Simple

I know I’ve disappeared. And though I do truly feel horrible for leaving you all hanging as I have, right now I need to keep my thoughts private. I hope you understand and will re-welcome me back once I’m able to work through this in my head.

I do wonder, however, what I have done in my life to be put through the unbridled hell of the last two months. And now? Now I feel even more alone than I have ever before in my life. Please accept my apologies and once I’m able to put myself back together, I’ll be back that I promise.

Shouldn’t be long, there wasn’t much left to destroy to begin with.

K

It’s a two way street

Under normal circumstances, I like being right. This time, however, I do not.

My dreams, though not all of them…were right. But this is not a joyful “Hahah! I told you SO!” right. No, this is a “My best friend is in a twisted sort of pain” right.

And in one instant all of the weight on my back was lifted.

You can only keep a facade for so long. And now, she blames herself. But, I see the horizon after all of this rain.

And I know that person’s name too. 😉

Have a great weekend.

Much love,

K
Song of the Day: Thank you for not giving in squishy. 🙂

Doors

I can’t explain my actions. The burden runs through my entire family. Dreams and feelings, like lead in my stomach. I can feel it before it happens or while it’s going on.

I have never felt this lead so heavy before. I know in my gut something is not right, I’ve tried to shake it. Many times. My guard is up and the flags are at full attention. It is impossible to describe the tremendous amount of fear and hatred surrounding these dreams about this person. I liken the fear to venom and the hatred as total darkness. Vivid, terrifying dreams. Movies in my head that are worse than any horror flick I’ve ever seen. I want to stop them, but I can’t. Obviously there is a reason I’m having these dreams, they are a warning.

I told her, knowing better.  I should have kept my thoughts and dreams to myself.  Between the dreams or the guilt that consumed me I don’t know which is more of a disgusting feeling. To stand in the way of anyone’s happiness is not a pleasant thought to me. Especially someone that I care so much for. So I told her to do what she wanted to, I’d deal with the images for the rest of my life if it meant she was happy. I’m not completely sure I can, but I’m going to try.

So now here I sit. Guilt and hatred from both sides of the fence completely enveloping me. I gave her the green light to do what I know is going to lead to an end. Our friendship is my world, for the past few years I’ve given up everything to make sure she was ok, mentally and physically. And having to walk away is the most painful thing I will ever do. But for me to promise not to do something rash to stop the inevitable is not something I can do. I’ve never been a good liar. I would rather just walk away than burn bridges.

Happiness is a fickle term to me. Regardless of what I do or feel, I try to please too many at one time. Under normal circumstances, I would lay down and take it.

I can’t do it this time. I hope the saying is true: when one door closes, another opens.

I’m not sure what else to do or say at this point. I seem to be letting everyone down around me regardless of my actions.

K