
Very Interesting
June 23, 2008So I was going through my myspace blog account and came across this blog I had written a few years ago. It was after a conversation with my friend Meche. And the premise of the post was that many assume what you are like before ever getting to know you. Judging you before ever even speaking, we’re all guilty of it. I also talk about hiding behind walls and masks, and the person I really am and the missed opportunities and the ‘What Ifs’ of life. It was very interesting to read to say the least. I’m not sure if I still agree with what I wrote or not, but that’s the fun of growing older I suppose.
Here’s an excerpt:
“I never imagined I would be where I am today. In many ways I am a failure, in others a survivor. I have been through unimaginable situations, I have seen things I still have nightmares about. I am not feeling sorry for myself, that’s just not who I am. I believe God has put me here for a reason. I don’t know his path for me yet. I have no doubt in my mind though, I want to help others.
For the longest time I thought my world was shattered after some of things I have been through, and yet…here I am. I have picked up the pieces and have moved on. This blog isn’t a cry for help, don’t get that impression. I don’t need the violins going and what not. Everyone has been through devastating things in their lives. I have missed chances where I could have given the effort to be happy. I have also given up some of those chances by choice. Others…I didn’t know existed until I spoke up about them, and now it’s too late. (yes…you know what I am talking about if you remember the conversation). I do not believe we are meant to just settle on something, we are given choices. My choice is to be upfront and honest, what’s yours?
I am much deeper than most think. I am intelligent when I need to be. I do have thoughts that won’t leave me until I write them down, then again that’s the whole reason for having a journal or a blog isn’t it? If you are wondering where this is coming from…ask the question…don’t make assumptions. You may not know what you think you know about me. I keep to myself most of the time and I do not voice my opinions unless I truly feel something is wrong with a situation or I am asked. That doesn’t mean I am trying to judge you, it’s my opinion don’t ask for it if you aren’t wanting the truth. I don’t believe that running from problems are going to get anyone anywhere. I’m tired of running…and I’m tired of putting on masks. I’m too old and I have too much to offer someone. “
Had sort of a flashback for a moment. I’m not sure what prompted me to write it. But hey, it makes sense to me. The other parts of the blog are too personal, and I’d rather not share. But reviewing this did bring a quote to mind, that at the time I wrote the post I didn’t know:
“Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself.”- Lois McMaster Bujold
Take it as you will
Looking back- have your opinions change? Or have you reinvented yourself? If so, are you happy with what you’ve become and/or decided?
Much Love,
K

