Break Downs….they’re overrated.

I have a feeling I’m going to have one of those days where I need to just go back to bed and start over again. I feel so overwhelmed right now. I can’t explain why…well I can, but I won’t. Some things are better left unsaid. Sadly the out-of-sight and out-of-mind thought process is not my forte, I’m too much of an overanalyzer.
I need to get away from everyone and everything. Just be by myself and reconnect. Somehow I’ve lost myself along the way. Last night was my breaking point. It’s not like I had any reason to crack, I just did. Seems that so many small things had began to build and I cracked. If it tells any of you anything…the cracking started over cheese…I mean really? About the same time that happened my step-father called me and asked me to go feed their dogs, they weren’t back from visiting my sister in Concord yet. Snowball effect…totally happened. I lost it. I don’t know why, it isn’t a big deal. By the time I got back home I was still very aggressive and just went to my room. Isn’t it amazing how your mother seems to ALWAYS know when something is wrong with you. Even if you haven’t spoken to her.  Even if you’re pretending on the phone to be ok. And that’s when I broke. I haven’t cried that hard in a very long time. And I wish I could explain my actions, but you can’t explain something you don’t know.
Tara sat beside me after my fury had passed, just sat there. Not sure what to say, I guess she was afraid of setting me off again. Rightfully so, I wouldn’t want to be on the recieving end of my wrath. That’s for damn sure. And being she was the proverbial straw that broke the back of this proverbial camel…I wouldn’t have said anything either. Even if she didn’t mean to.
Right before I went to bed my step-father called me back. Wanting to make me better (he’s like that ), when he comes back from his next run we’re going fishing.

I can’t wait, it’s exactly what I need. Even if I don’t catch anything…

How are you guys doing today?

Much Love,
K